(Such a treat to have Brenda as the guest blogger! Enjoy!)
I spent about 20 years of my life studying the Bible daily, exhaustively, by myself and in groups. When I started going through a faith reconstruction in my mid-30s, the Bible became a source of anxiety. I couldn’t read even one verse without the pre-programmed commentary of old white men shouting in my ears. I lost the ability to see the Bible with fresh eyes and engage with it from an honest place, and I didn’t know how to engage with it as a book and not the fourth member of the Trinity. I decided it was healthier to walk away from it for a while and get some space.
This year, I’ve been pleased to find myself wanting to connect with the Bible again, for new reasons. First, the Bible is one long reminder that there really is “nothing new under the sun.” The difficulties we’re facing as a people – plague, poverty, inequality, corruption, leaders doing harm in God’s name, etc. – have occurred again and again throughout history. They’re basically the entire content of the Old Testament! Although this can be discouraging, it usually comforts me, because we are not alone and our problems are not unique. Second, God’s presence is constant in the struggles of the Bible and in our own struggles. Again and again, He lets His people know that he sees and is with them in their difficult circumstances. Additionally, God’s concern for justice shines through every book. He calls out oppressors and illuminates the big picture. I spent many years in a faith tradition focused on personal, inward-facing sins and shortcomings, but God’s focus is often much bigger. This new perspective has freed me to lift my eyes and think about how I might be contributing to systemic injustice (and how I can do better). Having an increased sense of myself as a part of a bigger story has reduced my sense of self-importance in a healthy way.
I don’t have answers to the big questions about God’s role in suffering, but I know that He’s always with us in it, and with us in the work to “bend the arc of the moral universe toward justice” (MLK). Re-engaging with the Bible has made me more confident in that.
-Brenda Clay