“In order to have whole empathy towards others, you have to empathize with yourself.” Sleeping at Last (paraphrased by Ryan O’Neal)
I have been thinking about healthy reciprocity between people, but also within a person (spirit, soul, and body). There is something powerful in caring for self in healthy ways that enables that person to recognize others’ needs. I recognize myself in the quote above. As an enneagram Type 9, my super power is empathy. I love walking alongside others and find joy in the process of others unpacking their stuff of the day. But I often forget to walk with an awareness of my own full pockets, which means I am not as empathetic as I could be.
The above quote washed over me as Ryan O’Neal related that sometimes his empathy with someone becomes about protecting his own heart. It is easier not to let his own heart wake up. In his song for the Type 9, he has a couple of lines that hit me, “make war on gravity” and “forgive myself the lost time”. This week, I have been attending to those things trying to grow in awareness.
The second part of caring for self, surfaced within another podcast, Unlocking Us by Brené Brown. She interviewed Sona Renae Taylor about her book The Body is Not an Apology. The integration of the body, soul, and spirit was fascinating as well as the body being an instrument for justice. While the Type 9 is in the gut intelligence, often Type 9s are not as in touch with their guts. It was suggested doing things like yoga would be important to connecting with the body with the heart and emotions.
While this blog may feel like a review of podcasts, it is really the gateway to the following questions. How are you showing up for yourself? Another way of asking is how are you not abandoning yourself but being present with yourself empathetically? How are you experiencing integration of your physical, emotional, spiritual, and mindful self?
These questions are important at this time and space in which we find ourselves. Ongoing conversations could help us grow in how to show up for ourselves and for each other in healthy ways. Hope to hear from you!
_Dianne