We often talk about the pandemic in negative terms. It is understandable. The loss of employment, relationships, health, and for many life is hard and to be sure grief upon grief. Because of the pandemic, My voice has become more silent as I have worked from home. Make no mistake, I do use my voice everyday as I teach English to Chinese children early almost every morning. My writing and my meetings with the church staff have been outlets for my voice in several ways. It was hard having multiple days in a row each week in which I would not see anyone as I worked.

The scraping, cracking of snow and ice as the driveway was cleared the turning of a corner for me…thanks to Matt, Penelope, and Toni, a neighbor.

As the shy Spring graciously greeted me, I realized how grateful I have become for the silent spaces. They have become like the easter eggs hidden in the process of life, only to be revealed when highlighted. I am less frenetic in my mind and actions. My robust, cold, silent winter gave me more interior peacefulness. This gift is called detachment. I do feel my feelings, but I can choose just to observe them as I feel them. That has become precious to me. It feels like I am less caught in the flood of the emotion and more of the truth of the emotion. At least that is how I understand my growth right now. There is still room for more growth and I suspect it is a lifetime of growth…I will never fully “arrive”.

There is something comforting in never having a final “arriving”. It means it is okay not to be perfect and there are still possibilities to be experienced or considered. Today, I am grateful for this imperfection and the prospects. Mind you, the process to this point has felt like a slow drip that eventually wears the surface down.

So, how about you? How has the pandemic shaped, shifted, and/or worn you down? What are the things that were difficult? How have they influenced you? How have your “ways of being” changed or not changed?

Love and grace,

-Dianne