The Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. Romans 8:26

As I prepare to start Seminary this September, I’ve been thinking through this last year of the pandemic and some of the more difficult emotions and memories bubbling up to the forefront of my mind.

My career change a year ago brought on feelings of fear, insecurity, and inadequacy as I looked toward the future. I also had to confront my workaholism in my previous jobs and how that harmed Annie and myself. I’ve watched grandparents progress further into dementia, families I love fall apart, friends succumb to Covid and some who survive endure Long Covid. And it continues: new diagnoses, hidden secrets revealed, and grueling disappointments. Life, for all its vast, beautiful joys, has its share of sufferings.

When I cry out to God on behalf of myself or others, I often feel I can only pray so much for healing, peace, reconciliation, or provision before I find myself at a loss for words. How, in my sorrow, my fear, my guilt can I be heard if I can’t even speak? Maybe you can relate? I recently discovered a prayer from Kate Bowler and Jessica Richie that I would like to share and invite you to meditate on with me.

A Prayer for When You Don’t Know How to Pray

God, I don’t know how to pray. Here I am, in the dark, without words. Praying with need so deep I can hardly see it or say it. Praying through prayer feels hopeless.

God, could You pray for me? Could You come into this space I am holding and speak the words so they echo through me and back to Your heart? Will Your Spirit intercede on my behalf, interpreting the groans I can’t put into syllables and sounds?God, I feel hidden away so deeply that I can’t see very far, but I ask You, God, can you come find me here?

I am reaching out a hand, eyes closed, trusting for the moment when the next step seems possible, seems safe. And until then, I long to just feel You near.

Amen.¹

I am so grateful for Christ City, that while we celebrate together, we don’t hide our grief or sorrow or doubt. We understand it as part of the human experience and choose to walk through life together, embracing each other in weakness.

-Ben Higdon

1 Kate Bowler and Jessica Richie, Good Enough: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Imperfection (New York: Convergent Books, 2022), 187.